Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Mysterious Ways

Hey God! Why did you take my buddy's cat?
You're an asshole.

Artist is Gone

My alpha feline has left and as I review his last days in my mind, I think he's gone for good. Artist was always a little standoffish. He was the runt of the litter and was sickly with stomach problems, yet he overcame all that and I thought we were in the clear as far as his health problems were concerned. Now, I don't think so. I think little Art made a plan for himself and went out into the woods that surround us and went to sleep for the last time. I hoped he'd just gone for a walkabout or to find a girlfriend. He acted peculiar the last couple of weeks staying more and more by himself and preferring to remain outside at night. He was rude to the other animals but clingy to me.

Anyway, now he's gone, but I still look for him every day. No blood trails, nothing to indicate a predator might have nabbed him. I have seven other cats and I would feel as destroyed as I do now if any of them came up missing.

Art and I had five years as pals and he had a great life (for a cat). I wish he was still here. There's another hole in my life where all the love went.

Saturday, November 21, 2020

Top 10 Movies with Hell in the Title

Bad Girls Go to Hell 1965

Crazy as Hell 2002

Drag me to Hell 2009

From Hell to Texas 1958

Hell and High Water 1954

Hell Baby 2013

Hell Below Zero 1954

Hellbent for Leather 1960 

Hell Divers 1931

Hell's Hinges 1916


Friday, November 20, 2020

Thursday, November 19, 2020

See You In Hell

 After much soul-searching, I have decided to renounce my faith in Christianity. Thanks for the ride, but it's all turned out to be just so much baloney. There is truth out there, but nobody's interested in finding it, so I guess I'll see you in hell. I'll be the barefoot guy wearing Wayfarers. Gimme some sugar before I go.

Monday, November 16, 2020


 

Holiday


 

Hi!

Having a heck of a time posting anything. My service says I've used up my time again for November but I suspect Google is toying with me. Why would I be online when most of the time I can't connect? looking for a new internet arrangement in Feb if the Biden/Harris commies don't come for me first.

Saturday, November 14, 2020

Name That Movie!


 This harrowing scene comes from an off-beat blockbuster released in 1999. Click on pic to increase viewing size.

Friday, November 13, 2020

The Late Show


 

Romance

Romance
by
Nite Stalker

She got rid of me
without saying why,
but I know it's cause
I'm not a rich guy. 

It could have been
an epic romance:
I've got bourbon on ice
and six marijuana plants. 

I've lost weight this year
and I'm looking pretty fly,
yet she turned me down
and went with another guy. 

I told her I loved her
and I'd build her a house;
she wanted a mansion,
not a place for a mouse. 

She wanted steak for dinner
so out on the town we went.
I had to wash dishes
to cover the money we spent. 

Someday maybe I'll find
my fortune in the stars:
a girl who likes cheap wine
and pays the cover charge at all my favorite bars.

Wednesday, November 11, 2020

40000 Headmen


 

Home on the Range


 

Veteran's Day

Hi everybody! It's Veteran's Day today. We're supposed to honor veterans and show them our gratitude for their service to the country. So, I'm saying thanks to all our fighting men and I hope we can someday find a way forward where people don't have to get killed. Did you serve in the military? If you did, thank-you. If you didn't, you can show support by telling a vet thanks. Thanks for protecting our freedom, our Republic, and our way of life. I know a soldier (or sailor) must take an oath to defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic. To carry out that mission, a soldier (or sailor) must be familiar with the Constitution. Furthermore, if a soldier (or sailor) is issued an unconstitutional order, he is bound by the law not to obey. Of course, it doesn't always work out that way. Happy Wednesday, everybody! Kill a commie for Christ!

PS Why would they have a Women's Veteran's Day separate from the designated Veteran's Day? Well, if you didn't know, they do and it's tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 10, 2020

That'll Be All

Yesterday was my planned trip to Walmart. It's not that I hate Walmart, I just don't like the long drive to the store and you know what? I'd rather go to a private, individual grocery store -- like it used to be. Walmart is too big. Too impersonal. But everyone uses Walmart now, unless you're a Hollywood star or a politician.

So, I really shelled out some money to get a few things I felt compelled to purchase. I bought a new office chair and put it together last night. It is way more comfy than my old office chair. If you come visit me, you'll probably sit in my old office chair. You can roll around the living room, if you want to. I bought a monitor (32 inch) for when my computer TV suddenly and tragically decides to quit working. A $108 for the monitor (it ain't a Sony).

I bought a thermometer that works. You just press it up against your temple and voila!

I got some lighter fluid for my three lighter Zippo lighter collection. I am a failure as a collector, that's why I only have three.

I bought a kitchen scale in case I ever decide to be a drug dealer and I bought a small vacuum sealer, another accoutrement of the drug dealer.

I got some other stuff too.

There were only three lines open at Walmart. The guy behind me said they were training us to use the self-checkout by not providing enough cashiers. Maybe so. The lady in front of me looked to be in her sixties and mumbled her complaints behind her pandemic mask. I had forgotten mine and was walking around without one, pissing off the snowflakes. I think it probably pissed off the lady in front of me.

So there we were, standing in line at Walmart like refugees exchanging one-liners and waiting our turn. As usual, I tried to make small talk when I should have kept my mouth shut. I told the lady in front of me that I was pretty upset about what was going on with the election. Her friendly expression turned dark. "It's a terrible thing," I continued, "we're losing any semblance of order if, you know, elections can be stolen."

"I hear poll workers are being threatened."

"They need to be threatened if they were in on it."

"What? They need to be threatened?"

"They've committed felonies, ma'am and changed the election results. We don't live in a banana republic."

"You're brainwashed," she blurted out. "Where do you get your news?"

"Hey lady, I actually read."

"You're brainwashed," she repeated, receiving her change and walking away, making a show of wagging her head like a hoary old goat. To seal her position, she told me she'd pray for me that I might see the truth. Holy incoherent ramblings from yet another white American female -- quite possibly the craziest group of people on the planet!

I suppose she thinks she won the debate by calling me brainwashed and turning her back. I looked at the guy behind me and he shook his head. "They won't listen," he said.

In my mind's eye, I saw myself running up behind her and jumping up on her back and wrapping my arms around her throat until she fell over at which time I began to wail on her stunted cranium. I'd have killed her if the cashier had not asked me if there was going to be anything else.

"No," I said. "That'll be all."

Wednesday, November 4, 2020

Crazy Bitches


Crazy makes crazy, right? If you hang out with crazy, well then you're going to end up getting a dose. Crazy is contagious. If your wife or girlfiend (girlfiend, get it?) is crazy, then guess what? Yep, you're going to be crazy too. If your boss at work is crazy, you know what? You're going to be crazy too.

If the preacher at your church is a little whacked out, you're likely to be a little whacked-out too. If they ask you if you're "in love" with Jesus, you don't have to bow to peer pressure. If they ask if you'd care to donate to the Molly Fields Cemetery for the unborn, suggest cremation.

If your parents have begun to forget everything and now prefer to sit on the porch and stare at the sun, you're getting a preview of your future. I'd suggest you start taking vitamins asap.

If your kids are crazy, then they got it from you. Congratulations for successfully passing on your distorted view of the universe.

At one time or another, everybody gets to go crazy. In my experience, it's a short trip. Do not trust anyone who says they never get angry, they never forget, and they don't eat tuna. I don't love tuna but I could probably survive on it until mercury poisoning got to me.

I've said it before, so you already know. Don't get upset when I say it again. Women are crazy. There's a biological imperative here so don't get mad at me for saying so. Women go crazy once a month for a week or so. Shoot, some woman are crazy the entire month, month after month, year after year, and nobody does anything about it. When is the government going to step in and do something about the periodic insanity of females?

It's dangerous to have these females in positions of authority. Does Pelosi have the launch codes? I pray not. Are there female train engineers? Scary thought. There are female airline pilots but it's my understanding they take time off on those troublesome days.

Which presses the question: if you're crazy, do you know it? And, if somebody says they are rock-solid sane, is there any reason to believe them? Why, I've told multitudes I'm not crazy and no one ever believes me.

My excuse is I've had a number of crazy bitches in my life. To my defense, life is a gamble and I am inherently incompetent when it comes to women. There are no sure things except the sun coming up, taxes coming due, and the grim reaper someday coming for you. Statistics say you'll end marrying a crazy girl.

My advice is that if you can't fight off the insanity, then allow yourself to be happy about it. I'd like to tell you things are going to get better, but the truth is...

Tuesday, November 3, 2020

Click the Pic


 I claim no connection to this pic, but it reminds me of Harry Irons and To the Stars. Click on the pic to see a larger image.

She's Been Working Out

T
oday is the big day. I got up early, combed what's left of my hair, dressed up like a gentrified landowner, tossed some Halston on the back of my neck, put Mae in the truck, and drove to the polling place. I couldn't find my voter's registration so when they asked for ID I gave them my medical marijuana card. Don't judge me. She said it wouldn't do and so I handed her my press card. She shook her head again and I laughed and dug a Mekong Delta brown water sailor military challenge coin from my pocket. She didn't know what it was so I told her it was all I needed to get a drink or a free meal in the southern portion of these United States.

"Well, you need a driver's license or an approved ID to vote."

I gave her my VA ID which fingered me as a disabled vet as well as my driver's license.

"Thank you for your service," she said automatically.

"And thank you for yours," I responded.

So I was allowed to vote. I didn't have to wait in a long line and I voted straight ticket.

I expect all kinds of problems from the Left. Cheating, duplicate votes, dead people voting, and so on. Enough Democrats have commented that they will do whatever it takes to remove Trump from office. I believe them. To me, that means they're willing to cheat and break the law in order to win the election and get rid of their nemesis, the Trumpster. Isn't that what they've admitted on multiple occasions?

We should expect court cases that will attempt to invalidate the election results. There will be stories from the Left that will claim the election is a sham. NPR will express outrage for the next four years and Hillary will blame it all on Russian collusion. Pelosi will bring impeachment charges... again.

"We can't allow a man who pays hookers to pee on him to sit in the oval office," says Hillary, or something like that. Anyhoosit, Hillary should be the last person to make accusations. Why are we still hearing sound bites from her anyway? I hear she's contemplating the release of a nude Christmas calender. She's been working out and she wants to turn things around. Heh-heh.

Thursday, October 29, 2020

Two Guys Talking






I don't mind if your sister works at the topless club. In fact, I'd like to meet her.

So Long, Buckaroo

Well, for goodness' sake, Jerry Jeff Walker died. So did Billy Joe Shaver and a week ago, Eddie Van Halen. There have been loads of famous people recently dying. Have you noticed or is it just me?

Did you ever see the Twilight Zone episode about the man who shows up and gives a box with a button on it to Sum Yung Guy and his wife, Melonie-san? Every time the button is pushed, $5000 is transferred into Mr. Guy's bank account and somewhere in the world a stranger drops dead. The man leaves the box with a promise to return and retrieve it the next day. Husband and wife begin to debate over whether or not to press the button.

Would you press the button? I hate to think somebody pushed the button on Jerry Jeff.

Women Will Fool You

Women will fool you. They're good at it. They know they have an advantage when it comes to dealing with men and they use it. The strategy comes as naturally for them as a tuna in water. It's the super power of persuasion but that's just a polite way of saying they use their sex appeal to get their way. Of course they do. Wouldn't you if you could?

It takes a little acting ability but a little goes a long way when you have a captive audience. Men want to believe women are attracted to them. Women know this and use it to leverage themselves in conversation and deed. Oh, there are other tools such as the tantrum -- an infantile tactic that surprisingly succeeds more often than not -- or the great hurt and resulting pout with or without tears depending on the depth of faux pain required.

Yet, it's a light touch or a suggestive smile and my sensors are re-calibrated automatically. Did I miss something? Run that back again.

Yep, it's a power game complete with mental leveraging and researched statistics. "Did you know it IS usually the husband or ex-husband who commits abuse? One in two women were abused as children, one in five is being abused as we speak..."

... and my sensibillities are being abused as I am made to kowtow, consider, re-consider, adjust, and squeezed for payment. Better to live on a corner of the roof than with a contentious woman. Yeah, but women will still fool you. 

Some say it was daytime television that began to sever wives' relationships with their husbands. Others say it was feminism; Gloria Steinham and all that. Some even say it was the washing machine that liberated women. I say it was friendly, non-assuming guys like me that allowed it to happen.

Imagine a world where the men go off to work in the morning while the women gather at the river with bundles of laundry.

[Shrugs shoulders] Well, everything goes in cycles -- just like washing machines. Which reminds me, my number should be coming up soon enough. I need to load up my Amazon Wish List.

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Thursday, October 15, 2020

DMT Book Covers


Remember when there were free book covers for your textbooks and over the course of the semester you wrote your girlfriend's name on it and otherwise doodled all over it? How nice to download a free book cover and wow your friends. Looking at the sample above makes me high and makes me want to follow my spirit guide to someplace with altitude. You know, so I can have a good look around.

Monday, October 5, 2020

Guess Again!

This scene is from what famous movie? I'd give a hint but I figure astute viewers already know the answer, so... I'll tell you this much, the feller in the pic is talking about hunting in the winter with his dog Blue.

Saturday, October 3, 2020

One Step Forward Two Steps Backward

Some days things just don't work out. It's Saturday and I keep bouncing from chore to chore because when I try to accomplish a task something comes up -- either I'm missing the right part or other people won't cooperate. For instance, I went to the lumber yard to purchase four small metal screws whose absence is preventing me from putting up rain gutters. Well, the lumber yard wasn't open. On a Saturday! It's frustrating. I went to visit a neighbor. Guess what? They weren't at home.

So, I'm at home now and I'm thinking it's Saturday and I should relax. Chill. I have a rifle and scope that needs to be sighted-in. I have piles of brush to burn. I need to work on my Cat story. I need to review more audio files for the audio production of Stolen Worlds. I need to begin painting the interior of my new place (I have the paint, brushes and all is ready to go.). I need to build a cabinet for my microwave. I need to research more towards my solar conversion (Yep, I'm going solar.). And on it goes.

But it doesn't feel like I'll get around to any of those things, either. As I focus on this moment and the words that follow, the radio blasts out Men At Work: "Living in the land down under, where the winds blow, then thunder... better run, better take cover..."

I'm hooked on pop music. It just takes one cool song to make me anticipate the next and before long I'll wake up and realize I've sat here for thirty minutes listening to music on the radio. Who needs chores when you're distracted by classic rock? Music distracts me so much that I have to turn it off while I eat my meals. I'm not kidding. I should have been a musician instead of handsome.

Well, the chores will still be there on Monday. Meanwhile, somebody needs to watch the trees swaying in the cool breeze. At dusk, the cats will wake up to go outside to play. Me? I'm just gonna put on my babyface and wait for the next song.

Tuesday, September 29, 2020

Guess the Movie!

Ok, this is a tough one from way back in the 20th century. The big guy in the photo looks suspiciously like John Wayne. Not PT109. Not Green Berets. If you guess correctly, I will write your obit for free.

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Ambition

To a certain extent, ambition is a built-in human drive that grows out of the desire to be a successful organism. You know, fat, happy, and sexy. I guess we could throw healthy in there too, but that's not really what this article is all about.

It's about our instruction set; that is, the drive to achieve whatever it is we desire. Before one chooses, one must first decide exactly what it is one should pursue. After all, time is money. Right? So let's not waste time tiptoeing through the weeds in search of direction.

Generally, the answer to the search for something to do (the meaning of life) is to make great gobs of money, to become wealthy so that one may become as powerful as possible. Only when that goal is achieved can one afford to pursue the mundane pleasures of travel, expensive wines, fast women, sensory thrills, and the trappings of material wealth (as well as the display of said wealth). That's the simple man's short and sweet version of ambition, direction, and success, all bundled into a single focus: money.

I'm kinda looking past that. It's all well and fine if your ambition provides focus and it probably does a little good for humanity too, or at least your kids, wife, and pets. Still, your ambition works to push distractions away. On the other hand, I embrace my distractions and try to bring them to the fore. If I have a problem, I'm not shy about discussing it with strangers.

I met a guy at the post office who was in the Navy 40 years after I was discharged. He was a lifer -- that's what we call someone who enters the military to make a career out of it -- but apparently he grew dissatisfied and left. The reason he was dissatisfied was interesting. He told me military service had become so politically correct in its pursuit of equality and diversity that the preparedness of fighting units was seriously degraded.

Additionally, billets were/are being filled more often with females supplanting more traditional male roles. This strategy has resulted in institutionalized incompetence with political strategies outweighing practical strategies. Everybody knows it but nobody wants to admit it. It's like a chapter from The Emperor Has No Clothes. Who cares if the battle was lost as long as the military force maintained its diversity?

My acquaintance also expressed a disregard towards any authority that would intentionally set up a system of incompetent leadership and call it progress.

My ambition stops when I realize my goals hurt others. I mean, I understand you gotta look out for yourself, especially when one is alone in the world and the bad guys are out walking around like a lion looking for something to eat. I don't want to end up paying for someone's else's search for meaning.

These days, my ambitions have slacked off a bit. Today, for instance, I hold ambition towards getting anywhere from 8 to 10 hours sleep. I might mow some grass and clear some land. Maybe not. I'll do a little writing on a story I'm working on. I'll check messages to see if I've forgotten to pay any bills and to see if any of my favorite female erotic actresses have reached out to me. I look forward to taking Mae out for a walk.

I should say, along with my carefully monitored ambition, I also work to control my disappointment so that nobody gets killed when I don't get what I want. Yep -- gotta curb that disappointment.

I have to be doing something right -- I've got food in the fridge, the mortgage is paid off, animals are happy, and I now have enough personal freedom to be able to tell practically anyone to piss off.

What's your ambition? New car? Stable job? Getting laid? Whatever it is, it's always a wise move to sound the depths of your own character. That is, make sure whatever it is you've chosen in life to be your great motivator... make sure it's something real and something you can build upon. There's a lot of folks out in the world who want to sell you an illusion.

I wish you luck and remind you that everything you do amounts to who you are.

Sunday, September 13, 2020

Attitude Intact

My father was a physicist who worked as a well-logging engineer before he retired and returned to teaching high school math at Bell High School in Hurst, Texas. He discovered high school was nothing like it used to be and consequently struggled with his health until he died two years later. Upon his death, I was set loose upon the world to seek out injustice, good weed, and pretty women. I fulfilled my role with vigor although I really was not properly prepared. I paid little attention to politics, career, or choice of vocation. Sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll was not just a flippant reply to me -- it was, rather, a mission.

Many years later, I find my attitude is still intact. Yet, I have slowly learned that I am a principled guy, believe it or not. While my principles may be misguided at times, I am satisfied with what I have accomplished. Life in America these days is turning out to be rotten but the thing is, the quality of your life is still up to you. You still have the ability to choose your mood and attitude. If you choose to be defeated and depressed, well, that's your problem. Cry me a river.

If I had not mentioned it already, I discovered from my cousin that I am a direct descendant of Ragnar Lothbrok, the legendary Viking king. Ragnar was a certified badass who changed the history of the world while participating in numerous bloody martial exploits. If I look for a source for my attitude towards life, I like to believe my genetic construction leans heavily on Lothbrok for its mental base.

Forever In Blue Jeans


 

Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Phil the Feline

Sometimes captions just get in the way but if someone out there can come up with something that makes this picture any funnier than it already is, by all means, leave your humor in the comments.

Saturday, September 5, 2020

What Movie?

This 1997 dark comedy offers an A-list cast. Still drawing a blank? That's a hint.

Tuesday, September 1, 2020

Contemplating with Bullet Points

Much like many other bloggers on the interweb, my life and what I think I know (There are two retarded wolves living inside me. One wants to masturbate and the other wants to eat.) can be explained by a series of bullet points. 

• The first of September and it's rainy with temps in the sixties and seventies where I now lay me down to rest. Is the mild weather a portend to a long, cold winter? The almanac says indeed that is the case.

• Even though I believe all females to be batshit crazy, I am still persuaded by fluttering eyes and soothing language. It's done me in over and over from the time I was a child.

• When I think about it, I am always left with the opinion that, to varying degrees, everyone (men and women) is crazy.

• Why don't we call alcoholics and drug addicts crazy? Oh, that's right, it was decided they are ill, that they have a physical illness. Well, I guess whatever the AMA says is what we have to live with.

• Now, we used to say that gay people and pederasts were mentally ill but the script has been flipped on that one as well. It's to your political advantage to be gay these days. Probably a professional advantage too when you consider the perqs of being in a recognized exclusionary group. It doesn't work for the historical oppressors (white guys)...

• I installed a new sliding glass shower door in the head here at L@MT headquarters and it leaks! I am in the lengthy process of repairing the leak. Do silicone vapors get you high?

• If I were affiliated with either of the political parties here in the good ole USA, you'd have to drag me with wild horses to any of those rallies or conventions. I do like a red baseball cap though. Takes me back to the days when the St. Louis Cardinals were the hottest team in pro baseball. Long time ago.

• That Jeffrey Epstein thing has quietly faded, just like the Las Vegas concert attack. Inquiring minds want to know.

• Who pays Antifa and BLM to transport, equip, feed and house their members? This barrage of strategically planned riots and demonstrations has a giant payroll behind it. Who writes the checks?

• Man, if Joe Biden wins the presidency, I will never miss another presidential media briefing. Having Biden as president would be like having Daffy Duck as president. I don't mean to denigrate; rather, I'd like to point out that Joe Biden's disconnect from reality is going to make for great television. It already has.

• Joe Biden is a professional politician and has worked as a politician his entire life. If anybody knows where all the bodies are buried from the previous administrations, it would be old Joe.

• For a year or so, I sold shoes at a Kinney's Shoe Store in Ft. Worth. I was 19.

• On a closing note, the Epstein affair serves to remind me that all justice is up for sale. It is probably safe to make a comparison between the degree of corruption in our government, society at large, and the hollowing out of the American judicial system. I suppose we're all guilty to a certain extent, but it's those responsible for getting us here who should be held accountable. Judges, lawyers, clerks, etc. as well as ex-presidents, should all be taken out behind the barn for a good spanking. I think most would enjoy it.

Saturday, August 29, 2020

My Old Truck and the Kindness of Strangers

 

I'm always getting into a jam somewhere with my old, broken-down truck. It happened again a couple of days back when my pick-up refused to start at a strip mall. It was hot outside and checking the battery became a chore when I had to remove it and scrape the corrosion from the leads. Nope, that wasn't the problem. Some people strolled by on the way to their car and asked me if they could help. In a minute, the two men were pulling the battery out and agreeing to give me a ride to Walmart. All that was accomplished and one of the guys went inside with me at Walmart. We determined that my old battery was six years old and had passed the prime of its life. He found the right replacement battery for me and whipped out a credit card and paid $108 for it. I stood there, my credfit card in hand, realizing my helpers were treating me like a confused old man. I told the guy thanks but still felt uneasy about anyone paying my bill for me. We returned to the truck, installed the battery, and of course it started right up. I was grateful to those guys for helping. They seemed surprised to discover I wasn't a down and out drug addict and as we parted I told them to Google me. "I sell books on Amazon," I explained. That seemed to quiz them somewhat. Old man with long, white hair in beat up old pick-up writes books? I will remember their kindness and be sure to pass it along to someone else.

Friday, August 21, 2020

Stolen Worlds in Audio Production

Click for larger pic.
Stolen Worlds, by Thomas Stone, is in audio production and, if all goes well, should be available for purchase as an audiobook in October 2020. Stolen Worlds is the legendary second book in the original Harry Irons' science-fiction trilogy. Rated PG-13 and a fun, well-written, reading experience. Currently available in either paperback or ebook. Thanks for reading!

Monday, August 17, 2020

Who Are You?

When I was a young teen, James Bond (you know, 007) was a big deal at the movies. He was a man of action and adventure. Also, he had skills. He was a tough guy who dressed like a male fashion model and he could kick the bejesus out of any opposed to him and the British Crown, foreign and domestic. Naturally, I wanted to be James Bond, or at least a facsimile.

Being from Texas and all, I noticed that many of my peers wanted to be like John Wayne. They practised talking like him, walking like him, and acting like a Cowboy. If you think about it, it was a show to emulate the most masculine actor on the block. Right? Thank goodness I was never that crazy about The Duke. Like I said, James Bond was my man.

Of course, pretending to be somebody doesn't make you that person. You're still stuck with whoever you are, but you insist on carrying the same values as The Duke or 007 or some other popular figure.

If somebody asked who you are, what would you say? How would you describe yourself? A large percentage of Look At My Thumb survey respondents said something remarkably similiar to this:

"Hi, my name is Stuart. I'm a mid-level manager for a Fortune 100 company, but basically I'm in banking. I have a wife, Judy, and three children, two grown boys and a girl, er, young lady. I play golf and have a membership at the local club. My wife likes to paint and is active with local charities."

The thing is, in answering such a question, we relate our professional achievements and present a solid face for  what we think would be a level-headed guy, or gal, while saying nothing about our drive, our desires, and what we'll do to get what we want. Or won't do.

When we describe ourselves to others, we tell a saga, a hero's tale with ourselves in the lead role though we'd rather not share whatever peculiar habits we may have picked up in Borneo or Mozambique, or maybe east Memphis, and that goes as well towards a lifetime of secrets ranging from uttering the words "die nigger" at a Dallas Cowboys versus Philadelphia Eagles game, circa  1991, to getting strung out on cheerleader pornography while in college.

We know we're not really John Wayne or James Bond, or Rocky, or Bullwinkle, but we try it on for a few years anyway because we admire something about these famous characters. We think we freely chose to be like this person or other, but we didn't. Nope. Instead, roles are chosen for us and we are what we are told we are. "You want to be like The Duke, don't you? Then quit yer sniveling or you'll always be a baby."

Sometimes I thought about being my mother's butler so I wouldn't have to find a job, move out, and cook for myself. It didn't work out. I was asked to leave at 17.

Societal/social/psychological roles are handed to us or sometimes forced upon us. From that POV, what are you? Did you choose to be how you've turned out as an adult? Who are you? Are you what's important to you or what's important for someone (or somethng) else? Do you even know what's important?

Now that you have something to think about, put that cup down and get back to work. Break's over.



Wednesday, August 5, 2020

She Never Returned




Welp, somebody took my new puppy. She and Mae went out for a walk and a poop at dusk last night and the little one never returned. I had her for three weeks. Mae seems sad this morning and has refused her breakfast. I hope whoever took the little one will treat her well -- she was a good dog.

Friday, July 31, 2020

To The Stars Audio Book!

To The Stars is now available as an audio book from Audible which means you can purchase it via Amazon. I wrote To The Stars a long time ago and it became the first book in the Harry Irons series, a science fiction set that tries to emulate the great sci-fi of the 1950s and 60s. It has lately been re-edited and re-released and is flying off the virtual shelves as fast as WalMart candy on Halloween afternoon. Sci-fi adventure, romance, alien encounters, space travel, intrigue and future possibilities -- all narrated by the talented Stacey Krejci.

To The Stars is the first book in a science-fiction trilogy concerning an intrepid group of space explorers in the year 2107. Harry Irons dreams of escaping poverty and an over-crowded Earth by gaining employment with the Braithwaite Corporation. After proving himself in a series of tests, Harry gets his wish and soon enough finds himself struggling to survive on an alien world. To The Stars was written for a general audience and is sure to satisfy both younger and older fans of alternative fiction.

Sunday, July 26, 2020

Choco-Banana Crepes

Ingredients:

1 1/2 c. milk
1 c. flour
2 tbsp. granulated sugar
Pinch salt
1 tsp. vanilla, divided
3 eggs
1/4 c. butter, melted
2 bananas, sliced into 1/2" coins
1/2 c. melted chocolate

Directions:

In a blender, combine milk, flour, sugar, salt, 1 teaspoon vanilla, eggs and melted butter. Blend until mixture is smooth and foamy. If possible, let batter sit for 15 minutes at room temperature (or up to overnight in the fridge).

Heat a medium nonstick skillet over medium heat. Lightly coat with more butter or vegetable oil. Add about one-quarter to one-third cup batter and swirl the batter to completely cover bottom of skillet. Cook until the bottom of the crepe is golden, 2 to 3 minutes. Using a rubber spatula (or chopsticks) loosen edge of crepe then quickly flip. Cook for 1 minute more then slide crepe out of skillet. Repeat with remaining batter, adding more butter or oil to the pan as necessary.

Fold crepes into quarters. Drizzle with melted chocolate and top with banana slices.

Tuesday, July 21, 2020

Accused of Stalking But I Have a New Puppy

A week ago, an old college girlfriend accused me of stalking her. I live 240 miles away and give her a phone call on the average of once a month. I always tell her how much I appreciate her friendship and how glad I am we've re-established communications. Apparently, her son has warned her about talking to men outside of church.

First, I don't live close enough to stalk her. Second, she shouldn't start things and she shouldn't share anything I have to say with her son. I don't know him and I don't know why he feels qualified to judge.

Well, who knows what drives people these days? Personally, I suspect we've all been radiated by cosmic waves and our brains have been cooked. It's the only explanation. Anyhoo, if she wants me to stop calling or to stop using certain language in my speech patterns, I can do both of those things. When I stop calling, she won't have to listen to what I have to say anymore.

That news pales in comparison to the new puppy in my household. I found him sitting in the middle of a country road and brought him home with me. He acted like he's known me since birth. Licks and hugs. There was no way I could leave him. Mae has mixed feelings about sharing her space but I think she'll come around.

My animal friends are more loyal than my human acquaintances and they sure care about me more. Now, I don't claim to be the sharpest guy in class, but generally speaking, people are unthinking and hurtful.

You have the ability to make me change my mind on the nature of humanity. It's really easy. Here's how you can do it. You can send me money and/or gifts. I have a public wishlist on Amazon and my PayPal account is always ready to accept donations. If you'd prefer, simply purchase my books and tell your friends to buy my novels too. They're cheap, easy to read, fun, and provide an avenue for you to exercise your powers of criticism. I promise not to stalk you. Your efforts will help restore balance to my life. Please help.

Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Exploring Infinity

For a closer look, click on pic.
Here I am in a candid shot out at the new place. I'm not sure what I am doing or where I'm going but I do recall feeling prepared for anything.

Friday, July 10, 2020

Ten Favorite Driving Songs

These are not necessarily MY favorite ten driving songs but I'll bet they're someone's. I came up with this list off the top of my head and look, no Merle Haggard.

1. Little Deuce Coupe -- The Beach Boys
2. Highway to Hell -- AC/DC
3. Drive My Car -- The Beatles
4. Mercury Blues -- Steve Miller
5. Long White Cadillac -- Dwight Yoakam
6. Highway to the Danger Zone -- Giorgio Moroder, Tom Whitlock, Kenny Loggins
7. Pink Cadillac -- Bruce Springsteen
8. Further On Up the Road/Too Rolling Stoned -- Robin Trower
9. Runnin' On Empty -- Jackson Browne
10. Life in the Fast Lane -- The Eagles

Monday, July 6, 2020

Allow yourself to believe in the truth. Stop believing in lies.

Saturday, July 4, 2020

July 4th

4th of July, 2020! From the looks of all the people in the parks and in the campgrounds and in the river beating the heat, it looks like this Independence Day is filled with patriots. People are still taking time off, cooking BBQ, swilling beer, and reassuring one another that America is still the greatest country in the world.

I'd be down on the river too but my girlfriend told me to quit stalking her.

Friday, June 26, 2020

Smolif Audiobook

Smolif by Thomas C. Stone and narrated by Don Alfredano, is now available for sale as an audiobook at Amazon, Audible, and iTunes.

Smolif traces the fortunes of Contra Marlo, a retired, alcoholic security specialist. Contra was the best before he dropped out and became a full-time drunk. When a Braithwaite company rep offers him a job, Marlo must deal with sobriety, inexperienced team members, a lack of information, as well as the dangers of an alien world and the man who would be king of that world. Here's a link to the Amazon page.

Wednesday, June 24, 2020