Tuesday, November 24, 2020
Anyway, now he's gone, but I still look for him every day. No blood trails, nothing to indicate a predator might have nabbed him. I have seven other cats and I would feel as destroyed as I do now if any of them came up missing.
Art and I had five years as pals and he had a great life (for a cat). I wish he was still here. There's another hole in my life where all the love went.
Saturday, November 21, 2020
Friday, November 20, 2020
Thursday, November 19, 2020
After much soul-searching, I have decided to renounce my faith in Christianity. Thanks for the ride, but it's all turned out to be just so much baloney. There is truth out there, but nobody's interested in finding it, so I guess I'll see you in hell. I'll be the barefoot guy wearing Wayfarers. Gimme some sugar before I go.
Monday, November 16, 2020
Saturday, November 14, 2020
Friday, November 13, 2020
Wednesday, November 11, 2020
Tuesday, November 10, 2020
So, I really shelled out some money to get a few things I felt compelled to purchase. I bought a new office chair and put it together last night. It is way more comfy than my old office chair. If you come visit me, you'll probably sit in my old office chair. You can roll around the living room, if you want to. I bought a monitor (32 inch) for when my computer TV suddenly and tragically decides to quit working. A $108 for the monitor (it ain't a Sony).
I bought a thermometer that works. You just press it up against your temple and voila!
I got some lighter fluid for my three lighter Zippo lighter collection. I am a failure as a collector, that's why I only have three.
I bought a kitchen scale in case I ever decide to be a drug dealer and I bought a small vacuum sealer, another accoutrement of the drug dealer.
I got some other stuff too.
There were only three lines open at Walmart. The guy behind me said they were training us to use the self-checkout by not providing enough cashiers. Maybe so. The lady in front of me looked to be in her sixties and mumbled her complaints behind her pandemic mask. I had forgotten mine and was walking around without one, pissing off the snowflakes. I think it probably pissed off the lady in front of me.
So there we were, standing in line at Walmart like refugees exchanging one-liners and waiting our turn. As usual, I tried to make small talk when I should have kept my mouth shut. I told the lady in front of me that I was pretty upset about what was going on with the election. Her friendly expression turned dark. "It's a terrible thing," I continued, "we're losing any semblance of order if, you know, elections can be stolen."
"I hear poll workers are being threatened."
"They need to be threatened if they were in on it."
"What? They need to be threatened?"
"They've committed felonies, ma'am and changed the election results. We don't live in a banana republic."
"You're brainwashed," she blurted out. "Where do you get your news?"
"Hey lady, I actually read."
"You're brainwashed," she repeated, receiving her change and walking away, making a show of wagging her head like a hoary old goat. To seal her position, she told me she'd pray for me that I might see the truth. Holy incoherent ramblings from yet another white American female -- quite possibly the craziest group of people on the planet!
I suppose she thinks she won the debate by calling me brainwashed and turning her back. I looked at the guy behind me and he shook his head. "They won't listen," he said.
In my mind's eye, I saw myself running up behind her and jumping up on her back and wrapping my arms around her throat until she fell over at which time I began to wail on her stunted cranium. I'd have killed her if the cashier had not asked me if there was going to be anything else.
"No," I said. "That'll be all."
Friday, November 6, 2020
Wednesday, November 4, 2020
Crazy makes crazy, right? If you hang out with crazy, well then you're going to end up getting a dose. Crazy is contagious. If your wife or girlfiend (girlfiend, get it?) is crazy, then guess what? Yep, you're going to be crazy too. If your boss at work is crazy, you know what? You're going to be crazy too.
If the preacher at your church is a little whacked out, you're likely to be a little whacked-out too. If they ask you if you're "in love" with Jesus, you don't have to bow to peer pressure. If they ask if you'd care to donate to the Molly Fields Cemetery for the unborn, suggest cremation.
If your parents have begun to forget everything and now prefer to sit on the porch and stare at the sun, you're getting a preview of your future. I'd suggest you start taking vitamins asap.
If your kids are crazy, then they got it from you. Congratulations for successfully passing on your distorted view of the universe.
At one time or another, everybody gets to go crazy. In my experience, it's a short trip. Do not trust anyone who says they never get angry, they never forget, and they don't eat tuna. I don't love tuna but I could probably survive on it until mercury poisoning got to me.
I've said it before, so you already know. Don't get upset when I say it again. Women are crazy. There's a biological imperative here so don't get mad at me for saying so. Women go crazy once a month for a week or so. Shoot, some woman are crazy the entire month, month after month, year after year, and nobody does anything about it. When is the government going to step in and do something about the periodic insanity of females?
It's dangerous to have these females in positions of authority. Does Pelosi have the launch codes? I pray not. Are there female train engineers? Scary thought. There are female airline pilots but it's my understanding they take time off on those troublesome days.
Which presses the question: if you're crazy, do you know it? And, if somebody says they are rock-solid sane, is there any reason to believe them? Why, I've told multitudes I'm not crazy and no one ever believes me.
My excuse is I've had a number of crazy bitches in my life. To my defense, life is a gamble and I am inherently incompetent when it comes to women. There are no sure things except the sun coming up, taxes coming due, and the grim reaper someday coming for you. Statistics say you'll end marrying a crazy girl.
My advice is that if you can't fight off the insanity, then allow yourself to be happy about it. I'd like to tell you things are going to get better, but the truth is...
Tuesday, November 3, 2020
"Well, you need a driver's license or an approved ID to vote."
I gave her my VA ID which fingered me as a disabled vet as well as my driver's license.
"Thank you for your service," she said automatically.
"And thank you for yours," I responded.
So I was allowed to vote. I didn't have to wait in a long line and I voted straight ticket.
I expect all kinds of problems from the Left. Cheating, duplicate votes, dead people voting, and so on. Enough Democrats have commented that they will do whatever it takes to remove Trump from office. I believe them. To me, that means they're willing to cheat and break the law in order to win the election and get rid of their nemesis, the Trumpster. Isn't that what they've admitted on multiple occasions?
We should expect court cases that will attempt to invalidate the election results. There will be stories from the Left that will claim the election is a sham. NPR will express outrage for the next four years and Hillary will blame it all on Russian collusion. Pelosi will bring impeachment charges... again.
"We can't allow a man who pays hookers to pee on him to sit in the oval office," says Hillary, or something like that. Anyhoosit, Hillary should be the last person to make accusations. Why are we still hearing sound bites from her anyway? I hear she's contemplating the release of a nude Christmas calender. She's been working out and she wants to turn things around. Heh-heh.
Saturday, October 31, 2020
Thursday, October 29, 2020
Did you ever see the Twilight Zone episode about the man who shows up and gives a box with a button on it to Sum Yung Guy and his wife, Melonie-san? Every time the button is pushed, $5000 is transferred into Mr. Guy's bank account and somewhere in the world a stranger drops dead. The man leaves the box with a promise to return and retrieve it the next day. Husband and wife begin to debate over whether or not to press the button.
Would you press the button? I hate to think somebody pushed the button on Jerry Jeff.
It takes a little acting ability but a little goes a long way when you have a captive audience. Men want to believe women are attracted to them. Women know this and use it to leverage themselves in conversation and deed. Oh, there are other tools such as the tantrum -- an infantile tactic that surprisingly succeeds more often than not -- or the great hurt and resulting pout with or without tears depending on the depth of faux pain required.
Yep, it's a power game complete with mental leveraging and researched statistics. "Did you know it IS usually the husband or ex-husband who commits abuse? One in two women were abused as children, one in five is being abused as we speak..."
... and my sensibillities are being abused as I am made to kowtow, consider, re-consider, adjust, and squeezed for payment. Better to live on a corner of the roof than with a contentious woman. Yeah, but women will still fool you.
Some say it was daytime television that began to sever wives' relationships with their husbands. Others say it was feminism; Gloria Steinham and all that. Some even say it was the washing machine that liberated women. I say it was friendly, non-assuming guys like me that allowed it to happen.
Imagine a world where the men go off to work in the morning while the women gather at the river with bundles of laundry.
[Shrugs shoulders] Well, everything goes in cycles -- just like washing machines. Which reminds me, my number should be coming up soon enough. I need to load up my Amazon Wish List.
Tuesday, October 20, 2020
Thursday, October 15, 2020
Remember when there were free book covers for your textbooks and over the course of the semester you wrote your girlfriend's name on it and otherwise doodled all over it? How nice to download a free book cover and wow your friends. Looking at the sample above makes me high and makes me want to follow my spirit guide to someplace with altitude. You know, so I can have a good look around.
Monday, October 5, 2020
Saturday, October 3, 2020
So, I'm at home now and I'm thinking it's Saturday and I should relax. Chill. I have a rifle and scope that needs to be sighted-in. I have piles of brush to burn. I need to work on my Cat story. I need to review more audio files for the audio production of Stolen Worlds. I need to begin painting the interior of my new place (I have the paint, brushes and all is ready to go.). I need to build a cabinet for my microwave. I need to research more towards my solar conversion (Yep, I'm going solar.). And on it goes.
But it doesn't feel like I'll get around to any of those things, either. As I focus on this moment and the words that follow, the radio blasts out Men At Work: "Living in the land down under, where the winds blow, then thunder... better run, better take cover..."
I'm hooked on pop music. It just takes one cool song to make me anticipate the next and before long I'll wake up and realize I've sat here for thirty minutes listening to music on the radio. Who needs chores when you're distracted by classic rock? Music distracts me so much that I have to turn it off while I eat my meals. I'm not kidding. I should have been a musician instead of handsome.
Well, the chores will still be there on Monday. Meanwhile, somebody needs to watch the trees swaying in the cool breeze. At dusk, the cats will wake up to go outside to play. Me? I'm just gonna put on my babyface and wait for the next song.
Tuesday, September 29, 2020
Wednesday, September 16, 2020
It's about our instruction set; that is, the drive to achieve whatever it is we desire. Before one chooses, one must first decide exactly what it is one should pursue. After all, time is money. Right? So let's not waste time tiptoeing through the weeds in search of direction.
Generally, the answer to the search for something to do (the meaning of life) is to make great gobs of money, to become wealthy so that one may become as powerful as possible. Only when that goal is achieved can one afford to pursue the mundane pleasures of travel, expensive wines, fast women, sensory thrills, and the trappings of material wealth (as well as the display of said wealth). That's the simple man's short and sweet version of ambition, direction, and success, all bundled into a single focus: money.
I'm kinda looking past that. It's all well and fine if your ambition provides focus and it probably does a little good for humanity too, or at least your kids, wife, and pets. Still, your ambition works to push distractions away. On the other hand, I embrace my distractions and try to bring them to the fore. If I have a problem, I'm not shy about discussing it with strangers.
I met a guy at the post office who was in the Navy 40 years after I was discharged. He was a lifer -- that's what we call someone who enters the military to make a career out of it -- but apparently he grew dissatisfied and left. The reason he was dissatisfied was interesting. He told me military service had become so politically correct in its pursuit of equality and diversity that the preparedness of fighting units was seriously degraded.
Additionally, billets were/are being filled more often with females supplanting more traditional male roles. This strategy has resulted in institutionalized incompetence with political strategies outweighing practical strategies. Everybody knows it but nobody wants to admit it. It's like a chapter from The Emperor Has No Clothes. Who cares if the battle was lost as long as the military force maintained its diversity?
My acquaintance also expressed a disregard towards any authority that would intentionally set up a system of incompetent leadership and call it progress.
My ambition stops when I realize my goals hurt others. I mean, I understand you gotta look out for yourself, especially when one is alone in the world and the bad guys are out walking around like a lion looking for something to eat. I don't want to end up paying for someone's else's search for meaning.
These days, my ambitions have slacked off a bit. Today, for instance, I hold ambition towards getting anywhere from 8 to 10 hours sleep. I might mow some grass and clear some land. Maybe not. I'll do a little writing on a story I'm working on. I'll check messages to see if I've forgotten to pay any bills and to see if any of my favorite female erotic actresses have reached out to me. I look forward to taking Mae out for a walk.
I should say, along with my carefully monitored ambition, I also work to control my disappointment so that nobody gets killed when I don't get what I want. Yep -- gotta curb that disappointment.
I have to be doing something right -- I've got food in the fridge, the mortgage is paid off, animals are happy, and I now have enough personal freedom to be able to tell practically anyone to piss off.
What's your ambition? New car? Stable job? Getting laid? Whatever it is, it's always a wise move to sound the depths of your own character. That is, make sure whatever it is you've chosen in life to be your great motivator... make sure it's something real and something you can build upon. There's a lot of folks out in the world who want to sell you an illusion.
I wish you luck and remind you that everything you do amounts to who you are.
Sunday, September 13, 2020
Many years later, I find my attitude is still intact. Yet, I have slowly learned that I am a principled guy, believe it or not. While my principles may be misguided at times, I am satisfied with what I have accomplished. Life in America these days is turning out to be rotten but the thing is, the quality of your life is still up to you. You still have the ability to choose your mood and attitude. If you choose to be defeated and depressed, well, that's your problem. Cry me a river.
If I had not mentioned it already, I discovered from my cousin that I am a direct descendant of Ragnar Lothbrok, the legendary Viking king. Ragnar was a certified badass who changed the history of the world while participating in numerous bloody martial exploits. If I look for a source for my attitude towards life, I like to believe my genetic construction leans heavily on Lothbrok for its mental base.
Tuesday, September 8, 2020
Saturday, September 5, 2020
Tuesday, September 1, 2020
• The first of September and it's rainy with temps in the sixties and seventies where I now lay me down to rest. Is the mild weather a portend to a long, cold winter? The almanac says indeed that is the case.
• Even though I believe all females to be batshit crazy, I am still persuaded by fluttering eyes and soothing language. It's done me in over and over from the time I was a child.
• When I think about it, I am always left with the opinion that, to varying degrees, everyone (men and women) is crazy.
• Why don't we call alcoholics and drug addicts crazy? Oh, that's right, it was decided they are ill, that they have a physical illness. Well, I guess whatever the AMA says is what we have to live with.
• Now, we used to say that gay people and pederasts were mentally ill but the script has been flipped on that one as well. It's to your political advantage to be gay these days. Probably a professional advantage too when you consider the perqs of being in a recognized exclusionary group. It doesn't work for the historical oppressors (white guys)...
• I installed a new sliding glass shower door in the head here at L@MT headquarters and it leaks! I am in the lengthy process of repairing the leak. Do silicone vapors get you high?
• If I were affiliated with either of the political parties here in the good ole USA, you'd have to drag me with wild horses to any of those rallies or conventions. I do like a red baseball cap though. Takes me back to the days when the St. Louis Cardinals were the hottest team in pro baseball. Long time ago.
• That Jeffrey Epstein thing has quietly faded, just like the Las Vegas concert attack. Inquiring minds want to know.
• Who pays Antifa and BLM to transport, equip, feed and house their members? This barrage of strategically planned riots and demonstrations has a giant payroll behind it. Who writes the checks?
• Man, if Joe Biden wins the presidency, I will never miss another presidential media briefing. Having Biden as president would be like having Daffy Duck as president. I don't mean to denigrate; rather, I'd like to point out that Joe Biden's disconnect from reality is going to make for great television. It already has.
• Joe Biden is a professional politician and has worked as a politician his entire life. If anybody knows where all the bodies are buried from the previous administrations, it would be old Joe.
• For a year or so, I sold shoes at a Kinney's Shoe Store in Ft. Worth. I was 19.
• On a closing note, the Epstein affair serves to remind me that all justice is up for sale. It is probably safe to make a comparison between the degree of corruption in our government, society at large, and the hollowing out of the American judicial system. I suppose we're all guilty to a certain extent, but it's those responsible for getting us here who should be held accountable. Judges, lawyers, clerks, etc. as well as ex-presidents, should all be taken out behind the barn for a good spanking. I think most would enjoy it.
Saturday, August 29, 2020
I'm always getting into a jam somewhere with my old, broken-down truck. It happened again a couple of days back when my pick-up refused to start at a strip mall. It was hot outside and checking the battery became a chore when I had to remove it and scrape the corrosion from the leads. Nope, that wasn't the problem. Some people strolled by on the way to their car and asked me if they could help. In a minute, the two men were pulling the battery out and agreeing to give me a ride to Walmart. All that was accomplished and one of the guys went inside with me at Walmart. We determined that my old battery was six years old and had passed the prime of its life. He found the right replacement battery for me and whipped out a credit card and paid $108 for it. I stood there, my credfit card in hand, realizing my helpers were treating me like a confused old man. I told the guy thanks but still felt uneasy about anyone paying my bill for me. We returned to the truck, installed the battery, and of course it started right up. I was grateful to those guys for helping. They seemed surprised to discover I wasn't a down and out drug addict and as we parted I told them to Google me. "I sell books on Amazon," I explained. That seemed to quiz them somewhat. Old man with long, white hair in beat up old pick-up writes books? I will remember their kindness and be sure to pass it along to someone else.
Friday, August 21, 2020
Stolen Worlds, by Thomas Stone, is in audio production and, if all goes well, should be available for purchase as an audiobook in October 2020. Stolen Worlds is the legendary second book in the original Harry Irons' science-fiction trilogy. Rated PG-13 and a fun, well-written, reading experience. Currently available in either paperback or ebook. Thanks for reading!
Click for larger pic.
Monday, August 17, 2020
Being from Texas and all, I noticed that many of my peers wanted to be like John Wayne. They practised talking like him, walking like him, and acting like a Cowboy. If you think about it, it was a show to emulate the most masculine actor on the block. Right? Thank goodness I was never that crazy about The Duke. Like I said, James Bond was my man.
Of course, pretending to be somebody doesn't make you that person. You're still stuck with whoever you are, but you insist on carrying the same values as The Duke or 007 or some other popular figure.
If somebody asked who you are, what would you say? How would you describe yourself? A large percentage of Look At My Thumb survey respondents said something remarkably similiar to this:
"Hi, my name is Stuart. I'm a mid-level manager for a Fortune 100 company, but basically I'm in banking. I have a wife, Judy, and three children, two grown boys and a girl, er, young lady. I play golf and have a membership at the local club. My wife likes to paint and is active with local charities."
The thing is, in answering such a question, we relate our professional achievements and present a solid face for what we think would be a level-headed guy, or gal, while saying nothing about our drive, our desires, and what we'll do to get what we want. Or won't do.
When we describe ourselves to others, we tell a saga, a hero's tale with ourselves in the lead role though we'd rather not share whatever peculiar habits we may have picked up in Borneo or Mozambique, or maybe east Memphis, and that goes as well towards a lifetime of secrets ranging from uttering the words "die nigger" at a Dallas Cowboys versus Philadelphia Eagles game, circa 1991, to getting strung out on cheerleader pornography while in college.
We know we're not really John Wayne or James Bond, or Rocky, or Bullwinkle, but we try it on for a few years anyway because we admire something about these famous characters. We think we freely chose to be like this person or other, but we didn't. Nope. Instead, roles are chosen for us and we are what we are told we are. "You want to be like The Duke, don't you? Then quit yer sniveling or you'll always be a baby."
Sometimes I thought about being my mother's butler so I wouldn't have to find a job, move out, and cook for myself. It didn't work out. I was asked to leave at 17.
Societal/social/psychological roles are handed to us or sometimes forced upon us. From that POV, what are you? Did you choose to be how you've turned out as an adult? Who are you? Are you what's important to you or what's important for someone (or somethng) else? Do you even know what's important?
Now that you have something to think about, put that cup down and get back to work. Break's over.
Wednesday, August 5, 2020
Friday, July 31, 2020
Sunday, July 26, 2020
1 1/2 c. milk
1 c. flour
2 tbsp. granulated sugar
1 tsp. vanilla, divided
1/4 c. butter, melted
2 bananas, sliced into 1/2" coins
1/2 c. melted chocolate
In a blender, combine milk, flour, sugar, salt, 1 teaspoon vanilla, eggs and melted butter. Blend until mixture is smooth and foamy. If possible, let batter sit for 15 minutes at room temperature (or up to overnight in the fridge).
Heat a medium nonstick skillet over medium heat. Lightly coat with more butter or vegetable oil. Add about one-quarter to one-third cup batter and swirl the batter to completely cover bottom of skillet. Cook until the bottom of the crepe is golden, 2 to 3 minutes. Using a rubber spatula (or chopsticks) loosen edge of crepe then quickly flip. Cook for 1 minute more then slide crepe out of skillet. Repeat with remaining batter, adding more butter or oil to the pan as necessary.
Fold crepes into quarters. Drizzle with melted chocolate and top with banana slices.
Tuesday, July 21, 2020
First, I don't live close enough to stalk her. Second, she shouldn't start things and she shouldn't share anything I have to say with her son. I don't know him and I don't know why he feels qualified to judge.
Well, who knows what drives people these days? Personally, I suspect we've all been radiated by cosmic waves and our brains have been cooked. It's the only explanation. Anyhoo, if she wants me to stop calling or to stop using certain language in my speech patterns, I can do both of those things. When I stop calling, she won't have to listen to what I have to say anymore.
That news pales in comparison to the new puppy in my household. I found him sitting in the middle of a country road and brought him home with me. He acted like he's known me since birth. Licks and hugs. There was no way I could leave him. Mae has mixed feelings about sharing her space but I think she'll come around.
My animal friends are more loyal than my human acquaintances and they sure care about me more. Now, I don't claim to be the sharpest guy in class, but generally speaking, people are unthinking and hurtful.
You have the ability to make me change my mind on the nature of humanity. It's really easy. Here's how you can do it. You can send me money and/or gifts. I have a public wishlist on Amazon and my PayPal account is always ready to accept donations. If you'd prefer, simply purchase my books and tell your friends to buy my novels too. They're cheap, easy to read, fun, and provide an avenue for you to exercise your powers of criticism. I promise not to stalk you. Your efforts will help restore balance to my life. Please help.
Tuesday, July 14, 2020
Friday, July 10, 2020
1. Little Deuce Coupe -- The Beach Boys
2. Highway to Hell -- AC/DC
3. Drive My Car -- The Beatles
4. Mercury Blues -- Steve Miller
5. Long White Cadillac -- Dwight Yoakam
6. Highway to the Danger Zone -- Giorgio Moroder, Tom Whitlock, Kenny Loggins
7. Pink Cadillac -- Bruce Springsteen
8. Further On Up the Road/Too Rolling Stoned -- Robin Trower
9. Runnin' On Empty -- Jackson Browne
10. Life in the Fast Lane -- The Eagles
Monday, July 6, 2020
Saturday, July 4, 2020
I'd be down on the river too but my girlfriend told me to quit stalking her.
Friday, June 26, 2020
Smolif traces the fortunes of Contra Marlo, a retired, alcoholic security specialist. Contra was the best before he dropped out and became a full-time drunk. When a Braithwaite company rep offers him a job, Marlo must deal with sobriety, inexperienced team members, a lack of information, as well as the dangers of an alien world and the man who would be king of that world. Here's a link to the Amazon page.