Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Here Is What You Gotta Do To Survive

All right. This is the last time I'm going to tell you. If you want to live, listen up. Here we go, by the numbers. In regard to Covid-19:

1. Basically, you can't leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.

2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.

3. Stores are closed, except those that are open.

4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick.

5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.

6. Gloves won't help, but they can still help.

7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it's important to GO OUT.

8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes.

9. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.

10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…

11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Oh, my..

12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it's better not to go out, well, but no…

13. It's better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don't go to parks or walk. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old).

14. You can't go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.

15. If you are sick, you can't go out, but you can go to the pharmacy.

16. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours. Pizza too?

17. Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with " I don't want to trigger panic, but…"

18. You can't see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.

19. You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don't live under the same roof.

20. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.

21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn't say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.

22. The virus stays in the air - well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe.

23. We count the number of deaths but we don't know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were "almost dead" to find out if that's what they will die of…

24. We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications). Orange man bad.

25. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for that?

Sunday, April 12, 2020

Easter 2020

It's Easter again. Easter holiday for the year 2020. Looking back, I remember thinking how old I would be in 2020 and I was right. I am old. To tell the truth, I didn't expect to make it this far. I mean, I'm not a careful guy. I've taken a number of foolish gambles and although many did not pay off, somehow I survived.

Thinking about Easter, I haven't always been a Christian believer, either. Nope. I was brought up in the Baptist church but I always had my doubts. The story of Jesus is a big pill to swallow. Basically, it's belief in a reality that is different from what one sees. The material world reveals itself as solid, steady, even unyielding in its physical rules and limitations. You can't turn water into wine and you've got to eat to live. Right? Seein's believin', that's what I used to say.

However, I was always interested in physics and atomic theory and stuff like that. All that studying and cogitating on the universe brought me to realize things are not as they appear. Although I had my doubts, I slowly began to see that human understanding of the material world is limited. We don't know everything that is going on, we don't hear everything, nor do we feel everything. We can't. It's beyond our capabilities.

Within the mind, language arises from thought and ideas, but those things arise from desire and emotion -- from nothing. We are moved by spirit. We are vessels for the realized action of spirit.

If Jesus rose from the dead, then the world is as He said it was and is vastly larger than we can see: it is not limited to the physical world. Much more would have to exist beyond what we can detect. But that's what all the hulabaloo is about. That is, whether you believe there is more to the world and the universe than you can see or even comprehend. And that's what I believe.

Hey, I'm an educated guy. Additionally, I'm old. I've done things I can't believe I've experienced, yet I'm still around to tell the tale. Furthermore, if you want to write me off as just another ignorant buffoon, I suppose you can do that. However, it's at your own risk. Just don't be so quick to think you came up with all the answers on your own. Because you didn't.

Have a Happy Easter and think about the notion that Jesus Christ came into the world to let us know we don't have to act like animals. If you believe, then it is so. Have faith. The rewards are mind-blowing.

Thursday, April 9, 2020

Dogs (and Cats)

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them..

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'

'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.

Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.

Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up'.The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveller asked.

'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'

'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in..'

'How about my friend here?' the traveller gestured to the dog.

There should be a bowl by the pump.'

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

'What do you call this place?' the traveller asked.

This is Heaven,' he answered.

'Well, that's confusing,' the traveller said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'

'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'

'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'

'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'

Thursday, April 2, 2020

I'm an Old Cowhand

Well, I'm in the emergency room now. Ugh! Today was not a good day at all. I decided to go horseback riding, to ease the boredom... something I haven't done in awhile. It turned out to be a big mistake!

I got on the horse and started out fine. Nice and slow, but then we went a little faster. Before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off. I caught my foot in the stirrup with the horse dragging me. It wouldn't stop. Hit my head, banged up my back and elbow pretty good and tore my shirt.

Thank goodness the manager at Toys-R-Us came out and unplugged the machine. But, he had the nerve to take the rest of my change so I wouldn't ride the Elephant or Motorcycle. I was also banned from the Merry-Go-Round.